C.W. McCall - Black Bear Road lyrics

Black Bear Road

Artist(Band):C.W. McCall

(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)

Me an' RJ an' the kids was on a camp-out in the
mountains, and we had us one'a them U-Drive-'Em Army
Jeep cars which we rented from a fella by the name of
Kubozke for thirty bucks a day, buy your gas along the
way, take a rabbit's foot and leave a pint of blood for a

And he 'splained it all to us how we was supposed to get
to Telluride, which is fifty miles away by way of the regular
highway, however, there was a shortcut but unless we had
drove the Black Bear Road before, we'd better be off to
stay, stay in bed and sleep late. (Pay no attention to the
gitar there.)

Well, we took up off'n the highway and we come upon a
sign says "Black Bear Road. You don't have to be crazy
to drive this road, but it helps." I says, "RJ, this must the
shortcut road Kubozke was talkin' about." She didn't pay
no mind, 'cause she was makin' peanut butter
sandwiches for the kids in the back seat throwin' rocks
and drinkin' Kool-Aid and playin' count-the-license-plates.
But they wasn't havin' too much fun a-countin' license
plate or cars, 'cause there weren't no other cars.

We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours,
busted off the right front fender, tore a hole in the oil pan on
a rock as big as a hall closet. Went over a bump and spilt
the Kool-Aid and Roy Gene stuck his bolo knife right
through the convertible top and the dog threw up all over
the back seat. Peanut butter don't agree with him, you

So we had to stop and take off the top and air everything
out and clean it up. The dog run off and RJ says she felt
her asthma comin' on. I was sittin' there wonderin' what to
do when the en-tire scenic San Joo-wan U-Drive-'Em
Army Jeep car sank in the mud. At thirteen thousand feet
above sea level.

Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch, the dog made
a yellow hole in the snow and Roy Gene got out his
Instamatic and took a snapshot of it. Mary Elizabeth
drawed a picture of the road; it looked like a whole bunch
a' Zs and Ws all strung together. And RJ took one look at
it and said that the only way that Jeep car is goin' down
that road is over her dead body. Then a rock slipped out
from under the wheel and the U-Drive-'Em Army Jeep car
went right over the edge of the cliff. Yahoo-oo-oo-oo!

"Doggone-it, Roy Gene! How many times do I have to
'splain it to you? When I tell you to put a rock under the
wheel, I mean rock! Now look at that, what you have there
is no bigger'n a grapefruit."

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